Grateful for toilet water…

It may sound weird, but it’s true… I recently heard a sweet analogy from Mark Driscoll about toilet water.  He was making the point that we’re all thirsty.  We’re all trying to quench our thirst.  He was using toilet water to represent any and every lie.  We "drink" it in, and it may "taste" alright, but it’s still just toilet water.  It’s not until we "drink" from the truth of God that we’re ever truley quenched.  And I love that picture.  Because countless times in my life I have bathed in the toilet, rather than swimming in the pure, refreshing water that is available to me.  Since hearing this analogy, when I’ve found myself about to accept a lie – whether it’s a shot at my integrity, my marriage, my thoughts, my actions towards the boys – I’ve been reminded that I’m holding a glass of toilet water, and I can either drink it and get sick, or I can trade it for the fresh water of God’s truth.
 
Here’s the clip from Driscoll’s message regarding this analogy:
 
 
 

Big time

Every once in awhile, no matter who you are, or what you like to worship on TV, there comes something that everyone can appreciate… and here it is…
 
 
 
Do I need to add that I can’t wait to play football on Thanksgiving?  Well I am.  Even though the last time I played I received 13 stitches to my dome. 

The Thankful Jar

I’m not sure if it’s been mandated by congress yet, but everyone right now has to talk about what they’re thankful for.  Even my delightful wife is into it.  We have a "Thankful Jar" and we all write deep stuff that we’re thankful for.  Usually it’s – Pizza, Hot dogs, Pepsi, Johnny Cash and God… in that order.  And sometimes the boys write stuff too…
 
Everywhere you go, everything you listen to, every person you talk to – it inevitably comes up.  And I love when someone gets caught off-guard, with absolutely nothing to add to the conversation.  Usually, that’s me.  I’m the guy that adds after someone says, "Man, I’m just so thankful for my wife.  I mean, she’s loved me through some rough times this year…" and then I’m like, "yeah… uh… I like pizza."  And the unsettled feeling washes over the other person as they try to remember if they’d heard that I’m suffering some major brain damage, or social disorder, or if I’m really that much of a jerk.  But, I AM thankful for pizza.  And not just any pizza, the really good kind – with lots of meat and cheese, because… well… I’m a meatarian.  I’m tired of living a secret life.  It’s something I’ve put much thought into, and I hope that everyone can respect my life choice.  I know it’s not everyday that you meet someone that’s chosen to live an alternative lifestyle, and so I know that some will stare, and talk about me behind my back, while I’m eating a delicious burger or steak, or some tasty chicken all smothered in yummy barbeque sauce with a baked potatoe on the side covered in bacony-bacon. 
 
I know that I’ve referred to Jim Gaffigan before, but he’s really my spirtual leader in this new alternative lifestyle, and he’s preached a great sermon on this very topic that might help everyone understand my decision… especially at this time of year… when we get to eat that tasty turkey all done up just right….
 

Update…

So, I just realized that I haven’t offered up any sweet stories of my trip to Arizona.  So…. here we go…
 
It’s was nice.
 
 
 
 
 
Oh!  You want more than that?…. okay….
 
As you see in some of the pictures, it’s actually quite a bit greener there than I thought it would be – you know, being the desert and all.  We stopped at a couple of outdoor museum/zoo places that were pretty sweet.  We got to see cactus’ and be terrified of rattlesnakes.  Also, got to learn some stuff – did you know that a cactus’ root system doesn’t go down like our trees, it spreads out around it?  So, that makes the cactus pretty top heavy, so you can actually push a 20 foot cactus with one finger and it will sway back and forth!  Also, did you know that Tucson is over 2000 ft, and the mountains are well over 10,000 feet – so they actually get snow!  There’s even a ski resort on one of the mountains!  And, did you know that scorpions glow when you use a black light?  AND – did you know that if you take a prickly-pear cactus and cook it in the oven for a half hour and then season it, and lay it out in the sun for a week, it’ll taste like a pepperoni pizza?….well… that may or may not be completely true, but sources close to me think that it sounds pretty cool…But, the human head really does weigh 8 pounds!….
 
The whole trip was incredibly awesome and we had a blast just hanging out with my brother and Kelsie and their dog.  I shared with them my favorite funny guy, Jim Gaffigan.  Every time I watch him I cry like a teen girl… in fact… let’s all watch him together!  Just in time for the holidays!
 
 
Enjoy!

Well, let’s all just freak out then…

So, apparently now’s the time to lose it.  According to every "evangelical" talking head, today is the worst day in american history.  If Obama was elected, we might as well all move to Canada, right?  I mean, Barak’s more powerful than God now. 
 
I must be in the minority here among my evangelical family, but I’m not as concerned.  In fact, I’m even optimistic.  You see, I firmly believe that what the American church needs is a punch in the neck.  By that, I mean some good old fashioned persecution.  And I’m pretty sure Barak’s the guy we need for that.  Some might argue that persecution is bad.  I would say that the ONLY way the church has grown in all of history, is during great persecution.  Look at the early church, when millions of christians were horrendously slaughtered and burned, and they all sang songs praising God that they were counted worthy of suffering for Christ.  Look at China, Korea, Burma, really anywhere other than America.  Our safety is killing us.  Our prosperity is destroying us.  Our freedom of religion has crippled us into thinking that Christianity is easy.  It’s supposed to be hard work.  Everywhere else it is.  It’s supposed to consume all our time and energy.  Everywhere else it does.  But, here in America, we sit in our safe homes, watch safe PG movies made by christians, use safe language, over eat every day, and go to church on sundays.  In the words of a wise man – when we get to heaven, and stand before God, and we tell of how "hard" we had it, and all that we filled our time with – God will inevitably say, "Well, that didn’t make me look very good.  You should have done more with the time that I gave you.  You should have made me look like the all-satisfying God that I am."  And then we’ll realize that we’ve wasted our life.  I pray that persecution comes for all of us, because we’re told to – "Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  (James 1) Isn’t it ironic that the very thing we spend our whole lives avoiding (persecution) is the very thing that we need.
 
Hopefully we’ll get there.  Sooner rather than later. 
 

For my adoring fans…

After much criticism for my lack of bloggerdom, and in an attempt to silence the critics, I write…
 
Actually, I just haven’t had much to write about.  There’s been several times since my last post, where I’ve sat down and just stared at the screen for about 5 minutes until I decided I’d have more fun looking at ESPN.com.  And there’s been times where I’ve gone through all the trouble of writting out some diatribe, only to come to the end and say, "This is retarded.  Who would want to read this other than my mom?"  (that’s not to say that my mom’s retarded.  Or that she’ll read anything.  It doesn’t mean anything negative towards my mom….. Love you, Mom.)  And so I’ve searched my soul, and dug deep into the recesses of my vastly intellegent dome and have come up with even more not to say than I’d previously thought.  I guess I struggle with the thought of there being people "out there" that would want me to share some drawn out story of how much cooler my kids are than theirs.  Or, that my view on how totally awesome Christine Gregoire is, actually matters.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to be taxed to the gills and who couldn’t fully endorse our Gov. after she added that sweet gas tax as soon as she took office?  And, who would really care that I think that Joe Biden’s teeth have reached a new shade of "creepy white"?  And, why should I waste anyone’s time reading a blog about how much I think that Tina Fey should replace Sarah Palin as the VP candidate?  And, why should I bore anyone with witty comments about how much Facebook concerns me, when I receive "friend requests" from creepy chicks from high school that are a little "too friendly".  Or how retarded it is to receive an imaginary "flower" from some sleep deprived facebook addict, to help with global warming?  And speaking of global warming, why would anyone want to hear me go off how what a ridiculous mass of non-science that whole argument is.  I mean, do they let just anyone with a degree from DeVry stand up and say that the world is about to explode because I throw my pop cans in the garbage (which I do)?  My interests have just outgrown a blog, I guess.  I’d rather entertain myself with funny Jim Gaffigan clips from youtube about religion and vegeterians, and keep close tabs on Brett Favre’s career than have to stress about entertaining everyone "out there".  I guess evolutionists have it right – I’ve evolved.  I’ve reached the higher state.  I’ve arrived.  Thank God for me…
 
But, I’m sure I can come up with something soon.  I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I’d let all 5 of you down.  I’ll do better next time….